6 Tips for Asking Your Mentor to Coffee

By Christine Ascher on January 29, 2017

If you’re looking to get a leg up in the career world or trying to determine if a certain industry is right for you, a great way to gain some insight is by networking and forming relationships with those already in that field.

If you have a mentor, be it a professor, a boss, or simply a professional that you admire, one of the easiest ways to establish a stronger connection with that person and to better understand their profession is by extending an invitation for coffee. However, when you do so, keep in mind that you’re asking a busy professional to dedicate some of their free time to seeing you; for this reason, you’ll want to be especially cognizant of how you come across.

Here are some guidelines that may increase the likelihood of your invitation being accepted and will help you leave a good impression right away:

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Be specific

When asking your mentor to get coffee, let them know what you’re looking to get out of the meeting so they’re aware right away of what to expect. For instance, if you’re hoping to discuss a specific topic or area that your mentor has experience with, mention that in your invitation.

In addition to demonstrating a genuine interest, this will give them an idea of the kinds of questions you’re planning to ask. It will also allow them the chance to prepare information related to the topics that you want to discuss if they choose — which, in turn, means that you’ll be able to get more out of the meeting. This could increase the likelihood of your invitation being accepted as well, as it shows that you’ve done some background research and are prepared for a stimulating conversation.

Be conscious of their time

Again, remember that a meeting with you is going to take away from your mentor’s limited personal time. When you extend your invitation, mention how long you’re hoping to talk with them. Even a chat over coffee can at times go on for an hour or two, so if you’re only looking for a brief 20-minute talk, make this clear. They’re more likely to accept if they know how much time to allot for the meeting. Offer several dates and times to increase the chances that they will be free; if those don’t work, ask for them to offer some better times in return.

Make it convenient

Because you’re asking your mentor for a favor, emphasize the fact that you want this meeting to be convenient for them — both out of respect and because it will increase the chances of it actually taking place. Chose a location that is easy for your mentor to reach; make sure it’s somewhere reasonable for you as well, so you’ll be able to make it on time. Try, for instance, suggesting somewhere close to their office. If you’re unsure of a good location, leave it open for your mentor to make a suggestion.

Be persistent, but not pushy

If you don’t receive a response after your first invitation, it’s okay to ask again. It may be that your mentor just doesn’t have the time to meet up with you for the time being; if this seems to be the case, wait a few weeks before you send another email to give them some time for their schedule to calm down. Make sure that you don’t cross the line from “persistent” to “pushy” — be patient in waiting for a response and respect your mentor’s answer.

Emphasize your interest

Another good rule of thumb when asking your mentor to coffee is to mention why you’re interested in the specific industry, and why you’re hoping to talk to them in particular. Do your research and make it clear that you’re familiar with your mentor’s work; the more effort you put in beforehand, the better.

Before you ask for the coffee meeting, for instance, have some specific questions in mind. This gives you the opportunity to show that you have a genuine interest in what they do. If they can sense your passion for the subject, it’s all the more likely that your invitation will be accepted; after all, a genuine interest and sense of preparation will make the conversation infinitely more interesting. Instead of asking basic questions, you can have a more in-depth discussion and perhaps even offer some feedback to them in return for their time.

Be professional

Even if your mentor is someone you see and interact with on a regular basis, stay professional in your invitation. Remember that you are trying to impress them and that you may be looking to them for a recommendation later on. Showing off your professionalism, therefore, can only help. In addition, if you show right away that you take this meeting seriously, then it’s more likely that they’ll take it seriously too.

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