Decoded: The Secret Meaning Behind Girls’ Text Messages

By Britni Berg on February 27, 2014

The stereotype is real.

Guys around the world are victims of those text messages with sly, passive aggressive tones. Sure, it may be viewed on a small screen and simple black text—font type Arial, I’d say—but the wrath is all so real. I was recently accused of engaging in such secret text-message lingo, to which I immediately denied. But after thinking about it, I soon discovered upon my own sneaky semantics, which I may even be a little proud of.

I’d predict there are some universal text-message terms used by the female population that have a little more meaning than simply a one-word (or even scarier, one-letter) reply. And so, I began to investigate my own texting vocabulary with a bit of decoding. It may seem a little aggressive to generalize the female population as a whole, or even a specific age group, but growing up as a female and both receiving and sending such texts, I am labeling myself as a reliable source. There are always those girls that will resist such stereotypes, claiming that they’re “more mature” or “not that kind of girl,” but we all send text messages, right? . . . and sometimes unintentionally blow off a little steam? Unless you’re still using a Razr, which is a combination of social suicide and also not being forced to use texting with that horrible finish-every-word-for-you-which-is-usually-completely-inaccurate autocorrect. The number of awkward texting situations that got me in could be a whole new article.

And now, I shall introduce the one and only decoded dictionary: girl text message edition.

K—One of the most commonly used and vicious words in the female texting dictionary, itself. Don’t let the single letter fool you; its importance cannot be overlooked. And if it is, well you’re only making things worse for yourself. The word (or letter, whatever you want to address it as) is commonly in response to something making a female mad, upset, annoyed, bothered—simply pick an emotion. Sometimes it may be used for a short response to information, like, “Pulling into the driveway, come get the door” to acknowledge your presence. And if that’s the case, then you definitely dodged a bullet.

Whatever—No, it’s not just whatever. The word can be used as a synonym to “K,” and acknowledges that this situation is anything but the blown off meaning of “whatever.” It may indicate you’re making things worse and she doesn’t want to talk about it anymore, you’re not understanding, you’re not listening enough—pretty much just many personal faults on the male’s part.

Fine—Also known as, “it’s opposite day.” Why? Because everything is not fine. In fact, everything is the farthest from fine. The word is most commonly in reference to the girl knowing she’s right, the guy is wrong, and she just truly wants the conversation to come to an end. She doesn’t want you to stop thinking about the conversation, and exactly how and what you can do to surrender in this WWIII, she just wants you to stop talking about it. And realize she’s right. And apologize. Soon.

Ok/Okay—Lighter version of K, which packs a little less steam when used individually. Still be wary of the context though, because if this is the response to a longer or possibly displeasing message, you may be addressing this dictionary in the very near future.

Wow—Although the definition doesn’t differ much from common knowledge, receiving this text may be putting you dangerously close to the red zone. And by red zone, I mean all of the above phrases combined, possibly into one text message. Or each separately simply for dramatic effect. To be worthy of such a response, the guy must have done something so overwhelmingly unintelligent that there are simply no other words to say except, “Wow.” If received, some serious action reevaluation may be in the works.

The single emoji—While this kind of text message may not be as life threatening as the others, it’s a clear sign of boredom. In other words, this conversation is about to get awkward, and it’s about to get awkward fast. The single emoji, with no other text beside it, symbolizes that the texter simply has nothing more to say. The conversation is about to crash and burn, so if you’re trying to save it, bring out the life support, tell a joke, change the topic—anything. Or else. . .bye, bye.

“. . .”—The dots are right up there with the “K,” and would probably be considered synonymous with one another. If received, be afraid, be very afraid. Either the girl is about to go off on you, or, I’m trying to think of something worse, but nothing really seems as scary as that (have you ever seen a girl fight? Terrifying). The dots decoded come out to be: Are you serious? Did you really just say that? I cannot believe you just said that. I’m I on Punk’d? Is Ashton Kutcher going to pop out?  The Ashton Kutcher line most likely will not come into play, considering the show has been MIA for years, but you get the gist.

The no response—So bad, not there are no words to define it.

After checking out this dictionary, I know that there are going to be numerous gentlemen that will now never ask for my number, text me, or probably look me in the eye again. For clarification purposes, this is a universal dictionary—not personal. Don’t be scared of me; I promise I’m a very nice lady. And next time you receive a passive aggressive text, or are questioning the nature of any text message, decode it.

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